I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
