I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
