Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
