I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize