Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
