R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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