I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
