Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
