Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
