my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
