Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
