He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
