he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
