You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
