actually, I'm a sock model
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize