I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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