I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
