i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
