so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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