So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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