When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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