Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
