You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
When are your genitals available?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
