Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
