today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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