Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
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