i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize