i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
