I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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