Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
