apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
