her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
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