brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
