I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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