It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
