can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
