My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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