yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
