in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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