You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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