Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
