apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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