After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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