I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
