why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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