my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Drake has all the answers
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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