He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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