I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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