i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize