What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
