Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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