The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
