I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
