We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
