I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
