He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
