Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
