Michael Bay diarrhea
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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