I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Damn victory sex feels great
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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