Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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