I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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