Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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