she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
